Do you have doubts about your practice? Do your
doubts obstruct your practice? If yes, how? How do
these doubts function for you? Do you think they're
helpful? Do you think they keep you distanced from
commitment or effort?
The Buddha likened doubt to being lost in a desert, not
recognizing any landmarks.
In meditation doubt can take some very particular forms.
Major doubt can arise about the practice itself. In
the middle of a half hour sitting or in the middle of a retreat
questions might arise: “What on earth am I doing here? Sitting
here, watching the breath – what does this have to do with anything?
How is this helping me, how is this helping the world?”
Or we can start comparing practices. "Here I am, watching
the breath, maybe I should be doing Sufi dancing or Tibetan chanting
or something that is a little more engaging." Our minds start
jumping — maybe I should do this, maybe I should do that.
In practice there’s often doubt about teachers. With
so many teachers in the West it’s so easy
to start questioning “Who’s right? Who’s
better?” Have you experienced this kind of
doubt? Instead of simply learning what each has
to offer, have you become complicated
by doubt?
These are examples of "skeptical doubt." Unable
to commit or take a risk, we remove ourselves from the process
of discovery. We stay at a safe distance. Instead of letting something
speak to us, we obsessively analyze it; perhaps we disparage or
judge it. We haven't actually experienced it fully or deeply because
we haven't allowed ourselves to.
So rather than become paralyzed by uncertainty, the goal is to
remain open, to act and to see for yourself. We see
whether something is valuable, whether at some point we can add
another practice to it. Everything is open.
